Beautiful Trauma
by A Star In My Universe
Summary: There's nothing, no nothing, nothing but you. My perfect rock bottom, my beautiful trauma, my love, my love, my drug. / She'd never understood it herself. The desperation. The pleading. Piper never plead. She'd seen people ruin their lives over drugs. Kill themselves to get one last fix. No, she'd never understood it...until she saw Alex's face in that crowd.


_These tough, times they keep coming  
All night laughing and fucking  
Some days like I'm barely breathing  
And after we were high and the love doped died_

Piper stood at baggage claim. Her heart thudded in her chest, eyes darting around wildly, as she watched the bags circle again and again. She inwardly groaned as she saw the same blue Samsonite for the sixth time without seeing her own bag once.

How had Alex talked her into this, yet _again?_ Piper bit her lip. She hated what she'd become - she'd always been good. Her father always called her his golden girl, her mother, whilst not outwardly proud, always stood in the wings watching her graduate, watching her succeed. Piper wondered what her parents would to say about this. She pushed the thought out of her mind - the way her father would have sighed and the way her mother would have said, "Oh, _Piper."_

Of course she knew how Alex had talked her into it. _It'll be easy,_ she'd whispered, soft kisses on her neck. _You've done it before._ Her hands ran through Piper's mess of knotty hair, fingers trailing so lightly down her back that it made her shiver. _Will you do it, Pipes...for me?_

If there was any other answer than _of course,_ paired with pressing her forehead against Alex's, then Piper couldn't fathom it. She'd closed her eyes and smiled as kisses were planted on her collarbone, entwining her hands with Alex's wandering fingers. Piper couldn't help but smile as she remembered that night. It had been perfect.

But Alex wasn't here now, and Piper's nails made marks in her palms as she clenched her fist, willing the bag to appear. When it finally came out of the little door, Piper exhaled in relief. Her heels clicked against the cold tile floor of the airport as she scurried to pick it up. The wheels scraped against the tiles as she hurried as far away from baggage claim as she could get, as fast as she could possibly manage in an airport without looking suspicious. The hard part was over, and she could finally breathe again.

Her eyes scanned the crowd in the parking lot. She always felt sick until she set her sights on Alex. It felt like an eternity before a tall brunette strutted out of a doorway, eyebrows raised and sights set on the blonde. And finally, there she was. Piper almost dropped her case and ran to her, but found her senses before she lost the thousands of dollars she had rolling next to her. Instead, she ran over to the girl who'd always stand out in a crowd, case by her side, twisting her ankle over the cobblestones of the crossing and almost tripping in her stilettos.

She fell into her girl's arms, feeling a wave of relief washing over her. "Alex," she breathed. She buried her face in Alex's neck, breathing in deeply. Her oh so familiar perfume permeated Piper's senses and she finally felt like she could release a breath she didn't realize she was holding. She held the brunette for a moment before letting go. "Where the fuck have you been?"

Alex gave a sideward glance around her. "There was uh..a little problem on my end." She raised her eyebrows and Piper nodded knowingly, although truthfully much of what went on behind the scenes remained a mystery for her. "How was everything here?" She pushed a strand of hair out of Piper's eyes.

Piper nodded, shrugging off the panic of only a few moments ago. The fear she'd felt had dissipated upon seeing Alex, and she beamed up at her. "Oh, it was fine. You know, those TSA agents love me."

"Everyone loves a blonde." Alex pulled Piper closer. "I'm glad to hear that, though. Kubra has another drop off soon."

Piper's stomach dropped. The thought of another case not turning up made her blood feel icy cold, but she shrugged it off. "Yeah. Of course," she said.

She'd never understood it herself. How the business was so successful - how so many people needed drugs simply to survive. The desperation. The pleading. Piper never _plead._ The way addicts would do _anything_ for the next fix, to the detriment of everyone around them. She'd seen people ruin their lives over drugs. Kill themselves to get one last fix.

No, she'd never understood it...until she saw Alex's face in that crowd.

Piper rested her head on Alex's shoulder in the back of the cab that would take them on their next adventure, taking comfort in the soft thudding of the brunette's heart. With her...Piper would do anything. Go _anywhere._ As long as they stood together in the storm, as long as they got to lay down together at night, as long as Piper would forever get to stare into those green eyes...she'd be okay. As she fumbled for Alex's hand in the dark, playing with her fingers lightly, she began to understand the drive she'd seen in countless addicts. To be with Alex, she'd beg. She'd plead. She'd do _anything._ Maybe even ruin her life over it, if they got caught. Piper stole a glance to Alex, peeking through mascara-laden lashes.

Was prison time worth it, if the time came? Alex's arm found its way around Piper's shoulder as if sensing Piper's internal struggle. A drug addict would say yes. Of course. And Piper? Piper snuggled down into Alex's side, warm and cozy, and pulled Alex's arm round her tighter.

"Promise me forever," Piper murmured, kissing the back of Alex's hand. Alex chuckled above her, kissing the top of her head. Of course it was worth it. She'd loved no-one more. Her life had never been more terrifying, but it had never been as exciting, either.

"Nothing lasts forever." Alex played with Piper's hair, staring out of the window. She rarely entertained mushy shit, she preferred to feel like she was living in the moment. Mostly because she never knew what tomorrow would bring, so planning felt superfluous.

"I'm serious, Al." Piper sat up. "This isn't just a game to you, is it?" The blonde had an edge to her voice. A neediness that she hadn't heard before. Alex turned to face Piper, her face softened. She pushed her glasses so that they rested on her head, and placed a light kiss on Piper's cheekbone.

"Of course not," Alex said. "Okay," she said, after a moment, squeezing Piper's hand in her own. "I promise you - eternity. I will love you forever. Endlessly. Incessantly. Till you're sick of me." She laughed softly.

Piper laughed, gently pushing Alex's arm. "Don't. I'll never get sick of you." Did addicts ever get sick of their drug of choice? Would Piper ever look at Alex and feel anything but the thrill she felt now?

"Well, you might," Alex laughed.

She looked up at Alex and felt like she was falling for her all over again. A swarm of butterflies flew in her stomach, just like that first night in that bar. She felt that way every time.

Would she ever grow sick of it? The adventures they had, the time they spent together? Would she ever outgrow this, outgrow _her?_ As she breathed in her perfume and lay her head down on Alex's lap, Piper doubted it.

 _It was you  
The pill I keep taking  
The nightmare I wake in  
There's nothing, no nothing, nothing but you  
My perfect rock bottom  
My beautiful trauma  
My love, my love, my drug_

 _ **A/N: So, this is my first Vauseman fic. Much like Katy Perry kissing a girl, it's just to try it. Tell me what you thought!**_


End file.
